Grounded

Composting angst, cultivating art, and lying fallow

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Lori, Pat, Suleika, Lentil, me.

Hi, friends! I’ve been grappling lately with how to stay informed without getting pulled under. I don’t want to give oxygen to the dumpster fire of current events. What helps me stay grounded and hopeful are creativity and humor—my own as well as the abundance of content all around me. 

Two years ago, when the Dobbs decision was leaked, I needed a creative outlet for my anger and wrote two pieces. 

The first, Not Wrong, was later published by Fauxmoir Lit Mag. Here’s an excerpt and you can read the entire piece here:

The news today was too awful to deal with alone in my echo chamber. Acid tweets scorching holes in my feed, sizzling with outrage. They only amplify my anger and I need to temper it in order to breathe.

I want his opinion on what this means. His position dead center (“I can’t stand either side”) holds the promise of impartiality.

Alarm bells are screaming in my head. I want to yell, “THIS! This is what we’ve been warning would happen! It’s no longer maybe—it’s so much worse!”

Instead, I tell him, “I am extremely upset and need to talk about this. This is bad.”

“You’re not wrong,” he says.

He doesn’t say, “You are right.” You’re not wrong is a concession, a nod. He is trying to do better at hearing me, at understanding what I need. I know he wants to be able to have discussions without me shutting him down. I’m trying, too.

The second piece I wrote was pure, biting satire and it was the perfect way to channel my angst and lift my mood. I called it Cocktails For Toasting the End of Civilization and concocted new recipes based loosely on real drinks, that reflected the absolutely f*ckery of life at that moment. It remains a favorite and I’m grateful to Little Old Lady Comedy for publishing it. Here’s an excerpt, and you can read the full piece here.

Long-COVID Iced Tea

What better way to celebrate the end of the pandemic—at least the part where we acknowledged we’re in one—than paying homage to the clusterf*ck of mixed beverages, the Long Island Iced Tea. As with its namesake, this amalgamation of ingredients tastes like something your older brother used to dare you to drink when your parents went out for the evening and left you with a sitter. Thankfully, your tastebuds were rendered nonfunctional seven months ago.

INGREDIENTS
1/2 ounce vodka
1/2 ounce rum
1/2 ounce gin
1/2 ounce tequila
1/2 ounce triple sec
1 ounce sweet and sour mix
1 ounce cola

DIRECTIONS
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Add vodka, rum, gin, tequila, triple sec, and sour mix. Cover and shake. Pour into a tall glass. Top with splash of cola and a squirt of hand sanitizer. Stir with a rapid test until a pink line appears.

Isolation Journals

Speaking of the transformative power of creativity, 10 days ago I had the joy of finally meeting in person the writer, artist, and all-around amazing human who launched a global movement based just on that:

Suleika Jaouad

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Suleika is, of course, the author of the international bestseller, Between Two Kingdoms. To members of The Isolation Journals (TIJ), the online writing community she created in 2020 as a way of getting through the pandemic, she’s our beloved leader—someone who inspires us collectively and individually. Her personal encouragement and the writing connections I made through TIJ expanded my world and changed my life irrevocably.

June 22 was the opening of the art exhibit, The Alchemy of Blood, featuring works by Suleika and her mother, Anne Francey, at Art Yard in Frenchtown, New Jersey. See it if you can—it will be on display through September 22. A bunch of friends I’ve known since the start of TIJ flew to my hometown, Philadelphia, for the opening (our first IRL meetup), and we made a weekend of it.

Painting copyright Suleika Jaouad

During a blistering heat wave, we drove to Frenchtown a few hours early to ensure parking and to park ourselves inside a bar to meet up with other traveling TIJers. Just as we were walking from the gallery’s parking lot to the bar up the hill, Suleika was heading toward us down the sidewalk.

She was a vision in red, her famous dog, Lentil, cradled in one arm. We shared an emotional moment, hugs and teary eyes all around. Later that evening, I met her husband, Jon Batiste. Someone snapped a photo. Jon looks handsome and cool. I look like I just came from the gym: red-faced, sweat-dampened hair in a limp ponytail. I texted the photo to my husband and daughter. She sent it back, retouched with better hair.

By Tuesday, I was feeling sluggish and my allergies were acting up. I was congested, my eyes puffy. I had a dry cough. I work from home and can go a week or more without even getting in my car, but that weekend I’d driven to the airport and back, to Frenchtown and back, and a bunch of local treks in between. Plus Monday we went to see my daughter’s new apartment and hadn’t had anything to eat or drink until late in the day. I rationalized why I felt depleted. On a whim, I took an expired COVID test and it was negative.

Tuesday night, I woke up achy and couldn’t smell anything. Wednesday, I bought some new tests and saw the faintest pink line. My husband and daughter were also feeling crappy and the next day, she tested and got a bold line. After four plus years of dodging it, all three of us have COVID. We’re isolating together, so at least we don’t have to wipe everything down.

I texted the friends I’d just been with. Only one other had tested positive. I’ve read nothing about Suleika feeling sick, and for that I’m grateful.

I’m taking the advice to rest seriously. To not push myself too soon. So many days I wished I had the luxury of time to read for a stretch, uninterrupted. Now that I can do just that, I have to fight my impulse to get things done. Coincidentally, in Suleika’s latest weekly Substack, she announced that after working nonstop for months, she’s going on hiatus and relaxing with her family. She talked about fighting the impulse to be productive. Once again, I have company in isolation.

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Three Things That Inspired, Entertained, or Intrigued Me

1. The night before Suleika’s art opening we had a book event for TIJ member Lori Tucker-Sullivan, to celebrate her new release, I Can’t Remember If I Cried: Rock Widows on Life, Love, and Legacy. Lori is a close friend and her book will send you scurrying down YouTube rabbit holes, hungry for videos of the musicians she writes about. It’s a powerful book full of vulnerability and badassery, including Lori’s own. In addition to interviewing the widows of famous rock and country artists, she drew from her own experience of losing her husband to cancer.
   

2. I finally had a chance to read my friend Eileen Vorbach Collins’ memoir in essays, Love in the Archives: a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Her writing is gorgeous and though the subject—the death of her 15-year-old daughter by suicide—is emotional and sad, her stories are also uplifting and a reminder of the beauty all around us. Reading it felt like witnessing something sacred.
   

3. This short but hilarious scene from 30 Rock recently popped up on my IG feed and it’s genius on several levels. In this video, the creator breaks it down.
   

Stay well!