32 Comments

Wonderful piece, Abby. I've shared it with some of my American friends and family. I expect many Americans think we Canadians are not affected by your election but there is a whole lot of osmosis going on between us. I was thrilled with how clearly you articulated "detachment". It is a skill I learned when my sons were in their late teens and early twenties. I would have chained them both to their bedposts if I could but since that was not an option I had to trust their own discernment. I know a lot of mothers who became chronic insomniacs during those years and have still not recovered. Regarding the election again, a dear American friend recently told me that she is not going to give that man another 4 years of her life. I hope she can stick to that and this substack is a recipe to help her do that.

For the last year of downsizing, renovating and now Christmas my own writing practice and art practice and music practice have been put on the shelf. That is not going to change over the next month, nor should it as I prepare to welcome friends and family at this special time of year. But honestly, Abby, some days I miss the Covid isolation. In the new year I need to take back those practices I so love. I think those of us who came together as the ISJ family during that year plus will always treasure where Suleika took us. I have a VERY thick file of that writing and it is great inspiration for returning and reclaiming that life as a writer. Big hugs and Merry Christmas.

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Ugh, late teens and early 20s was definitely the most trying age as a parent. And I totally get what you mean about our ISJ time. That was so special and intimate, wasn't it? I'm so grateful that we shared that together, Carolyn, and that our friendship continues. I hope you are able to get back to your creative projects soon. Your writing is especially needed and appreciated. xo

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We are on the same page.

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Solidarity! We will get through this.

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Yes! Biden is speaking 2:30 EST on ceasefire.

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My dearest Abby.

Thank you for your words to focus on the impending 4-year shitstorm with a healthy dose of Yeet! It will undoubtedly be a different experience for me and my family than it may be for other races.

“It’s bad and good. It’s scary and funny. It’s filled with doom and promise. Together. All the time.”

Buckle-up! It’s going to be a bumpy ride for all of us.

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Hey big sis! Please know that I see you and worry about you and your family in this climate of intolerance. Love you.

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Libby is the best!!! I discovered it during the pandemic…

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I'm so happy it exists!

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Abby-Thanks for this positive slant. I have been carrying around the threats to our trans population in my heart for one of my best friend's fears for her son. I sent her this from your post:

For right now, my plan is to lean hard into the good things I’m so fortunate to have. My family and friends, and friends who’ve become family. A vibrant writing life and dreams I’m eager to pursue. The perspective of knowing I’ve gotten through everything life has dealt so far and, let me just say, there’ve been some tough futhermucking hands.

Change is definitely coming and all forecasts point to a shitstorm. But maybe it’s the storm that will finally shake people awake and yeet us into a Technicolor world.

It was a gift that I could offer to her. Just wanted you to know your words bring comfort and provide gifts for others to give. What more can a writer desire-thanks.

Kathy

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Kathy, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! Your words to me meant more than I can say. Please let you friend know that I'm thinking of her and her family. I have a lot of fears around health care and losing my daughter's access to insurance and the drug that has lifted the death threat from her chronic disease. I also have hope that people will speak up and that the good people on the ground who are doing the work to keep the trans population safe and people with chronic illness cared for, etc. will find a way to keep making strides, so long as we don't get complacent. Take care and thank you again for letting me know my words matter.

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Fantastic post!

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Thank you so much, Sacha!

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Morning, thank you for this hopeful message. I too am not willing to play the media game of this could happen, this might happen, blah blah blah. Clearly the Dem party has a ton of restructuring to do as far as messaging in the next four. Individually, the road is clearer. Yes, Libby is a game-changer! You can put two dozen books on hold, and tag books that aren't in the system (the more tags, the more chances the library will buy a copy). I've found that audio books are more readily available. xo

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A lot of restructuring to do overall, I think. And thanks for the tips on Libby. I'm so excited to try it.

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Abby, I too seek to understand the voting reasoning of "the ordinary people I’ve always known as kind, upright members of my community who show up for others and aren’t seeking to hurt anyone." Also, I love your perspective that perhaps the shitstorm will have a silver lining. We have to hope.

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We have to hope.

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Foul-mouthed Elmo, FTW! Great take, Abbs!

xx

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HA! Thanks Vivian!

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1) Love the idea of bubble as incubator!

2) I also love Libby, and on top of my home library and my mom's home library, I have acquired library cards from Broward County FL, Monroe County NY, and York (UK) libraries, which all do non-resident cards for a small fee and have widely expanded the titles I can access.

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Thanks, Allison! Yeah, I had to go to a library a little further from my home and the card I got was a regional one. Nice to know Libby is a good app. I'm finishing my already-purchased Audible titles before I borrow from Libby.

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Thank you, Abby. I needed this today!

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Thanks, Kathy! I appreciate you reading it and knowing something I wrote had value for you means so much to me.

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Abby, it is always a pleasure to wander through your mind with you. Much resonates. Some puts words to unexpressed thoughts. All of it helps. I say yes to curiosity. Let the twirly whirlies fly and the dancing begin.

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Thanks, Pat! This is all an extension of what we did together in 2020. We found joy and comfort together.

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Exactly. ❤️

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Love this, Abby. Detachment creates a comfortable distance between the thing and the feelings it evokes. I am tamping the simmering rage and fear of 4 years of apocalyptic chaos by detaching and examining the world from many perspectives. I'm letting go and rising above the hate. Meditation helps.

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Thanks, Marnie. Simmering rage and fear -- such a great description. I need to get back to meditation, too. I keep talking about it and not doing it. It helps so much to do it.

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great post as always , and i’m with you on many fronts💜i am eternally checking into gratitude and playfulness—-loving kindness and being intentional…. all good things‼️happy thanksgiving ❌⭕️❌⭕️

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Thanks, Kimberly! I love your positivity and always have. You have taught me much about resilience and strength. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

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i also wanted to share that this past saturday i had a wonderful dinner gathering with some of my favorite writers, among them dani shapiro and ann hood—- what a delight it was‼️i would love for suleika and jon to come to the next gathering lol wouldn’t that be amazing breaking bread ( my challah) together ❓❓❓

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Wow, that sounds like a dream dinner! You can hire me to do the dishes that night. And Dani and Ann? Amazing!

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